Restorative Practices: Leading With Relationships, Not Just Rules

 

Restorative Practices: Leading With Relationships, Not Just Rules

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about restorative practices in schools. At first, I assumed it was just another discipline program—something to add on top of all the other policies we already have. But the more I’ve learned, the more I realize it’s really about relationships, repair, and community. It’s a mindset as much as a set of strategies, and it can completely change how schools respond to conflict and behavior.

I watched a video from ASCD called Research Matters: Does Restorative Justice Work? and it really stuck with me. Educators shared stories about students taking responsibility, repairing harm, and rebuilding trust—not just receiving consequences. It made me pause and think: What if our leadership focus shifted from punishment to connection? (Watch the video here)

Why Restorative Practices Matter for Leaders

Restorative practices aren’t something teachers can just implement on their own—they require intentional leadership. When schools use restorative circles, peer mediation, or structured conversations, the culture shifts. Students and staff start feeling more respected, more connected, and more responsible for one another.

Research shows that restorative approaches can reduce suspensions and exclusionary discipline, while improving perceptions of fairness and trust (Ingraham et al., 2022). In my experience, when adults model empathy and accountability, it really sets the tone for the entire school.

Critical Question 1: How Do Restorative Practices Change the Role of a School Leader?

For me, this question hits at the heart of leadership. Implementing restorative practices means leaders can’t just sit in an office and enforce rules. Instead, we have to:

  • Model empathy and active listening in our interactions

  • Facilitate difficult conversations with care

  • Make sure teachers and staff feel supported to do restorative work

It’s a shift from compliance-focused leadership to relationship-focused leadership, and it requires patience and commitment.

Critical Question 2: Can Restorative Practices Promote Equity and Inclusion?

One of the most meaningful aspects of restorative approaches is how they can address inequities in school discipline. Traditional systems often disproportionately affect students from marginalized communities. Restorative practices, on the other hand, focus on repairing relationships and restoring trust, rather than just removing students from the classroom.

As a leader, I think this is powerful. By implementing restorative approaches, we can create a school environment where students feel valued, heard, and fairly treated. Research supports this: schools using restorative methods report improved engagement and more equitable outcomes (González et al., 2020).

My Reflection

What resonates with me most is that school is social before it’s academic. Students who don’t feel safe, respected, or connected won’t fully engage in learning, no matter how well-designed our lessons are.

As a future administrator, I want to create systems that build trust, repair harm, and empower students. That means listening more, facilitating hard conversations, and modeling restorative approaches myself. I’ve realized that leadership is just as much about heart and relationships as it is about policies and procedures.

“Restorative practice is not a program you add — it’s a culture you build.”

CAPE Standard Connection

This post aligns with CAPE Standard 7: Meaningful Engagement With Families and Community. Restorative practices don’t just involve students—they invite families, staff, and sometimes community members into conversations about repairing harm and problem-solving together. Leaders who embrace this approach create authentic opportunities for voice, responsibility, and collaboration.

References

Goodwin, B. (2021). Research matters: Does restorative justice work? ASCD Educational Leadership. https://www.ascd.org/el/articles/research-matters-does-restorative-justice-work

Ingraham, E. M., Sandwick, T., Gregory, A., & others. (2022). Use of restorative justice and restorative practices at school: A systematic review. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 19(1), Article 96. https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/19/1/96

González, T., Armour, M., Cubbin, C., & Rountree, M. (2020). Reframing school-based restorative justice as a structural population health intervention. Health & Place, 62, 102289. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10371223/

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